One of my favorite things about being a trainer is helping people discover their AHA moments. (Yes, in my own mind, I’m a mix of Oprah, Dr. Phil, and Suze Orman, all rolled into one!) How exhilarating when I can share something that is simple and yet powerful, that can truly make a difference in people’s lives. Although I love teaching ALL the Langevin workshops, (they’re like our kids – how can we pick a favorite?) I must admit, that I do enjoy the ones where we discuss the fine art of getting along with people – whether it’s in the classroom, with subject matter experts or senior management. And by the way, what’s with calling them “soft skills?” There’s nothing soft about teaching people how to get along! I prefer calling them “critical people skills.”
One course, in particular, that stands out is our three-day workshop, How to Influence People and Events. In it, we discuss a strategy to educate others about your view and involve them so in the end they want what you want. You can see how getting along with others would be critical to your success. Clearly, this requires a solid foundation and we conduct several exercises where you assess your own image, power base, and relationships.
One of my favorite books on this subject is “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie, first published in 1937. The book became an overnight sensation and has since sold over 15,000,000 copies. It is filled with rules and principles on how to deal with people in business and in social situations.
For me, Principle #1, in particular, stood out from the rest, namely, “Don’t criticize, condemn, or complain.” Although it seems simple, I believe that we don’t always put this principle into action. Carnegie discusses that it is the simplest mind that will criticize, condemn, or complain because it’s the easiest thing to do. It also gets you nowhere because you’re placing the blame on other people. Besides, who wants to be known as “the complainer?”
On the flip side, it takes character and self control to be understanding and forgiving. It also takes more effort and initiative to understand people and figure out why they do what they do and come up with other options or solutions to further your goal.
When I teach this class, I always share this principle and I see many learners writing it down and later sharing it as one of their “AHA moments” from the course. So the next time something doesn’t go your way – and you know it’s going to happen – let the 3C’s be your guide to success!
Marsha
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